Here’s Your Change!

Here’s Your Change.

After two years of B. H. Obama … Here’s your change! January 2009 TODAY % chg Source Avg.. Retail price/gallon gas in U.S. $1.83 $3.44 84% 1 Crude oil, European Brent (barrel) $43.48 $99.02 127.7% 2 Crude oil, West TX Inter. (barrel) $38.74 $91.38 135.9% 2 Gold: London (per troy oz.) $853.25 $1,369.50 60.5% 2 Corn, No.2 yellow, Central IL $3.56 $6.33 78.1% 2 Soybeans, No. 1 yellow, IL $9.66 $13.75 42.3% 2 Sugar, cane, raw, world, lb. Fob $13.37 $35.39 164.7% 2 Unemployment rate, non-farm, overall 7.6% 9.4% 23.7% 3 Unemployment rate, blacks 12.6% 15.8% 25.4% 3 Number of unemployed 11,616,000 14,485,000 24.7% 3 Number of fed. Employees 2,779,000 2,840,000 2.2% 3 Real median household income $50,112 $49,777 -0.7% 4 Number of food stamp recipients 31,983,716 43,200,878 35.1% 5 Number of unemployment benefit recipients 7,526,598 9,193,838 22.2% 6 Number of long-term unemployed 2,600,000 6,400,000 146.2% 3 Poverty rate, individuals 13.2% 14.3% 8.3% 4 People in poverty in U.S. 39,800,000 43,600,000 9.5% 4 U.S. Rank in Economic Freedom World Rankings 5 9 n/a 10 Present Situation Index 29.9 23.5 -21.4% 11 Failed banks 140 164 17.1% 12 U.S. Dollar versus Japanese yen exchange rate 89.76 82.03 -8.6% 2 U.S. Money supply, M1, in billions 1,575.1 1,865.7 18.4% 13 U.S. Money supply, M2, in billions 8,310.9 8,852.3 6.5% 13 National debt, in trillions $10.627 $14.052 32.2% 14 Just take this last item: In the last two years we have accumulated national debt at a rate more than 27 times as fast as during the rest of our entire nation’s history. Over 27 times as fast. Metaphorically speaking, if you are driving in the right lane doing 65 MPH and a car rockets past you in the left lane. 27 times faster, it would be doing 7,555 MPH!   Sources:  (1) U.S. Energy Information Administration; (2) Wall Street Journal; (3) Bureau of Labor Statistics; (4) Census Bureau; (5) USDA; (6) U.S. Dept. Of Labor; (7) FHFA; (8) Standard & Poor’s/Case-Shiller; (9) RealtyTrac; (10) Heritage Foundation and WSJ; (11) The Conference Board; (12) FDIC; (13) Federal Reserve; (14) U.S. Treasury     THE PRESIDENCY SOME WILL APPRECIATE THIS AND SOME WILL NOT, HOWEVER, ALL OF IT IS TRUE. So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can’t think of anything? Don’t worry. He’s done all this in 24 months — so you’ll have one year and ten months to come up with an answer. Every statement in this email is factual and directly attributable to Barrack Hussein Obama. Every bumble is a matter of record and completely verifiable. EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS… I WONDER HOW MANY WILL FORWARD THIS ? I wonder how many will actually understand it!   Oh yeah, those would be the folks that will be voting for Obama in 2012!

Cleaning the Refrigerator

Well, Franklin spilled some blueberries in the refrigerator the other day.  I knew cleaning it up would be a chore, but today I sucked it up and got to it.  Oh, my Word, what a mess!!  The inside of my refrigerator was purple!  It took me over an hour to get all that stuff out of there.  I told Franklin the next time he redecorates, let me choose the color. 

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog.

The man replies, “Come on, a dog?”

The owner says, “How about a cat?”

The man replies, “No way! A cat certainly can’t do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!”

The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, “I’ve got it! A centipede!”

The man says, “A centipede? I can’t imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay… I’ll try a centipede.”

He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, “Clean the kitchen.”

Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and… it’s immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed. He’s absolutely amazed.

He says to the centipede, “Go clean the living room.”

Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; plants watered. The man thinks to himself, “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!”

Next he says to the centipede, “Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper.”

The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later…no centipede. 20 minutes later… no centipede. 30 minutes later…no centipede. By this point the man is wondering what’s going on. So he goes to the front door, opens it… and there’s the centipede sitting right outside.

The man says, “Hey!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What’s the matter?!”

The centipede says, “I’m goin’! I’m goin’! I’m just putting on my shoes!”

Sixteen Steps to Build a Campfire

1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.

2. Bandage left thumb.

3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments

4. Bandage left foot.

5. Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand)

6. Light Match

7. Light Match

8. Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match.

9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.

10. Apply burn ointment to nose.

11. When fire is burning, collect more wood.

12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene."

13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.

14. Relabel can to read "gasoline."

15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.

16. When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh